Confession
by chookee choco
Summary: This was supposed to be one-shot but i couldn't help but make a 2nd chapter 3 HakkaiSanzo. How deep do emotions run through a soul thought to be so dark? Only light can pierce through.
1. The most pathetic 1st chapter ever

Confession  
  
by Yuuki  
  
The full moon shone brightly at the forest below. It shone on a green jeep where snores could be heard. These snores come from the back seat where Goku sleeps soundly. Beside him, Gojyo, also deep in sleep. Over in front, the driver's seat and the passenger seat next to it are both empty.   
  
Sanzo sat under an oak tree, resting his back on its trunk. He lit a cigarette, took in a drag which calmed every nerve in his body.  
  
Close by, behind a tree as not to be seen, emerald eyes watched the monk. They admired the beauty of the shape of his face, the way his hair would sometimes cover his   
  
eyes --his eyes, those deep amethyst eyes where he would always gets lost in.  
  
Hakkai sighed. He walked over quietly, sitting next to Sanzo. No one said a word; the silence was so deafening, so Hakkai said, "You've been very cold and indifferent lately."  
  
"Me? Cold and indifferent? When have i ever been cold and indifferent?" Sanzo asked sarcastically.  
  
"Well, more than usual, then... something wrong?"  
  
"Why are you asking me when you yourself has been more quiet than you usually are?"  
  
Hakkai didn't reply; he was looking down on the grass, looking for an answer. Silence surrounded them once again. Sanzo had finished off five sticks already. And was now lighting another one. He turned his head to look at the man beside him. 'What could he possibly be thinking that even his charming smile is turned to this solemn expression?' Sanzo asked himself.   
  
He looked back up the stars and then Hakkai spoke up, still in a serious tone, "You know what? I have a very deep secret, that its eating me alive..."   
  
"Well, don't we all have secrets...?"replied Sanzo.   
  
Hakkai half-smiled; "You have a lot... we practically don't know much about YOUR past..." he said.  
  
"This specific secret i'm talking about is not about me or my past....besides, what is it that keeps your mind occupied lately?"  
  
After a moment of pause, Hakkai sighed again.   
  
As he turned to look at Hakkai once more, Sanzo asked, "Are you going to tell me now or would you rather stay away from the topic?"  
  
'There could not be another chance but now so...' thought Hakkai. He faced Sanzo and once again, he lost himself within Sanzo's eyes. Hakkai realized that he had been staring at Sanzo and so finally said, "How can i possibly... tell you that.... that.... I--"   
  
But Sanzo put his hand on Hakkai's shoulder and the other around his neck, then pulled him into a passionate kiss. Even if Hakkai was quite surprised he soon kissed back, deepening it.  
  
When they had pulled away from eachother, Sanzo said, "Sometimes words aren't enough.... they never really are."   
  
**Owari** 


	2. Hakkai's Thoughts

Confession by: Yuuki  
  
A/N: For those who have been waiting for this next chapter, I just want to say thanks... for your patience and everything... Anyway, this might be the last chapter for Confession... I've been absolutely busy lately so if I still make another chapter it might take forever before it comes, so there... please review! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki. Obviously.  
  
Chapter 2: Hakkai's thoughts  
  
It was such a hot day. When Sanzo-ikkou were out of the forest, an endless desert greeted them with the sun boiling hot over their heads.  
  
After hours and hours of driving under the sun, they finally caught sight of a village. "Yatta!! Finally! I'm so hungry!" yelled Goku. The heat was already annoying Sanzo and he didn't want anyone, especially Goku, to add more irritation to what he was already feeling now.  
  
"Urusai!" he yelled, as he hit the boy with his infamous paper fan. "Itai yo...!" Goku groaned, rubbing his head. "You deserved that, baka saru!" laughed Gojyo. "What did you say, ero kappa?" "Who said you can call me an ero kappa?!" "I'll call you whatever I want, you red cockroach water monster!"  
  
Hakkai stopped the jeep in front of the first inn that they saw. "Look! They serve meals here! Lets eat first, please?! I'm terribly hungry..." Goku said. "Okay, okay... control yourself, Goku..." Hakkai replied.  
  
After ordering, Goku started eating so fast it was as if the food were disappearing. "Oi! Oi! Baka saru, don't eat everything! Its not only you whose hungry here!" Gojyo yelled, trying to hold Goku down.  
  
Sanzo fired his gun, getting Gojyo and Goku's attention. "Stop it, you idiots! I'm trying to eat here!" Both saru and kappa shrank back down into their seats. Hakkai chuckled. "Now, now, you two... you should know how to act better." "Ch', there's nothing you can say that'll make these two imbeciles change," Sanzo remarked.  
  
~~~Hakkai's POV~~~  
  
Back in the room, I faced Sanzo, who was reading the newspaper. "Ne, Sanzo, after spending days in the woods and desert, we've run out of supplies. I'll need to go out and –--" A gold credit card suddenly flew over to me that I almost wasn't able to catch it. "Do whatever you want," he said, frigidly.  
  
Already used with such brusqueness, I simply answer, "Thank you, Sanzo." But before I could leave the sound of his voice stopped me. "Why don't you let Gojyo do the shopping? You're working too hard sometimes... you should make him do more... that lazy kappa... picking up girls in every town we pass by... ch'," I chuckled. "You're concerned?" "For that kappa? Hell no!" he answered as he put the newspaper down, then his glasses. I smiled. It's very rare that Sanzo's nice, even to me. I can't blame him. We all have experienced a fatal past. After the death of his master, he never trusted anyone. He never attached himself to anyone and anything as well. Probably because if anything happened, he would never get hurt, he would never have to feel guilty. I guess it's the same with me as well. "I need to go; I have to finish this before dinner. Don't worry; I'll just ask Goku to come with me."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I was awakened in the middle of the night. I slowly sit up, shifting my position to fell more comfortable. I lean on the headboard of my bed. I turn my head to the side and see Sanzo, deep in sleep. I like watching him sleep. I get to see the real him. No scowl on his face. No angry or annoyed expression. His hair is highlighted by moonlight. I can clearly admire his smooth pale beautiful skin. Then I remember his eyes, his amethyst eyes with pools full of loneliness, despair and sometimes vengeance.  
  
I then find myself staring at his lips. I've always dreamt about kissing those lips. That special night with Sanzo was like heaven. I never wanted it to end. I never really thought he could be so passionate.  
  
Since then, I saw a different side of Sanzo... for someone easily angered, he can be very romantic. For someone very indifferent, he can be quite gentle. For someone arrogant, he can sometimes be compassionate.  
  
I've fallen absolutely in love with him. No matter how thick the defenses I put up after Kanan's death, you were still able to work your way into my heart.  
  
I sighed. I looked down at my clasped hands and suddenly wonder. I've always been attracted to people who needed me. It puzzles me that now I love someone who's... arrogant, cold, bad-tempered and everything you would least expect a Sanzo to be. [Thank you Laree McKenzie for this idea ^_^] Yet here I am, thinking about no one else... but you.  
  
I lie back down in bed, pulling the sheets up to my chin. All these questions and so few answers. But I don't mind at all. All I care about is that you're mine. Just mine.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The sun slowly rose from the East. Morning sunbeam entered the window, into the room. I silently awoke with a yawn. I settled myself for a cold shower. And when I got back into the room, Sanzo was sitting on the edge of his bed finishing a cigarette.  
  
"Ohayou gozaimas, Sanzo," I greeted. He did not reply, not that a expected him to. "Why don't you take a nice cold shower, in this nice sunny day? I assure you it's very refreshing." "Ch'," he responded, before taking another cigarette and lit it.  
  
How stoic he always is.  
  
But... even if he is... there's no one else I'd rather be with than with him... no one else.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: There you go! ^_^ Thanks for reading the fic and please review!!!!! [Once again, I'd like to thank Laree McKenzie, without your help, I'd never be able to write this fanfic!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!] 


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